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Dating diaries: That one time Arnold Schwarzenegger hit on me…

Dear Diary,

If you think this is a entry about dating Arnold Schwarzenegger, unfortunately you are going to be disappointed.  Firstly, gross, and secondly, gross.

But Arnie did hit on me once, at Gold’s gym in Venice Beach, which let’s be honest, is mildly entertaining.  As a single 30 something year old woman (early 30’s by the way, real early) there might be a very tiny part of me that dreams of being hit on by a celeb and living happily ever after.  However, those  dreams never involved a 69 year old ex Californian governor, or one of the Twins (Remember that? What a movie!!).  I thought perhaps Taylor Launter, or Jake Gyllenhaal, both of whom I have actually seen in New York, and much to my disappointment neither have yet to hit on me…  their loss.

I was in LA for work last year, staying at Hotel Erwin which has a super a cool vibe, and thoroughly enjoyable rooftop bar, but no gym.  These days, working out is a none negotiable for me, more so for my own mental health and mood that anything else.  In lieu of in-house gym, Hotel Erwin offers complimentary Venice Beach Gold’s Gym passes.

It was about half way into my work out when I noticed he was there, and yes I quietly freaked out when I saw him.  It wasn’t long until Arnie and his posse of weirdly buff elderly men approached my section to change weight machines.  That’s when he asked me, (cue classic Arnie accent): “Who taught you how to do that?!”  Immediately my brain jumped to “oh FFS, am I doing it all wrong?”.  I stumbled over my words for a good minute as I normally do when I’m either star struck, nervous or have a ridiculous crush on someone (NOTE THIS IS NOT A CASE OF THE LATTER, but if I have stumbled my words around you, it’s probably because I tell my friends I’m going to marry you, just ask them).

“Um, I did?!” He then heard my accent.  Many people comment on my accent in the States.  Many people comment on my accent back home in Australia too, but that’s because some words have accidentally been Americanised.  Give me a break, you try getting in a taxi and telling the driver my street name in an Australian accent, you’ll never get home.

Did you know that even the mates of the 69 year old Terminator, play wing man too? One of Arnie’s friends starts to tell me that “This guys famous in Australia”, “Oh his he?, I didn’t know” I replied.  OF COURSE I KNOW, HE’S THE KINDERGARTEN COP! But like I said, I was playing it cool, real cool.

“Did you come to LA to find a husband?” Arnie asked me.  Now of all the reasons to come to the states, was finding a husband MY reason?… Of course not.  But I’m an idiot and do not have any ability to play it cool under pressure, so out come the words “ahh, um …I wish!” I disappoint myself.

Now this is the point where it gets slightly more awkward, his response was “You probably think I’m too old, do you?”…  Yes Arnie, I’m sorry but you are decades too old for me, each to their own, but personally no thank you.  Your son on the other hand… is he single?

All I could manage was an awkward laugh.

For the next hour I received workout tips from Arnie and his posse of ripped grandpas. When he left, he bee-lined for me, gave me a hug and said “See you tomorrow?, I’m here most days from 6am”.

The first thing people asked me when I tell this story, was did you get a photo?  The short answer is yes and no.  No I didn’t get a selfie, or even ask, I was trying to play it way too cool in front of a celeb to do that and I didn’t have enough time to turn on the pretty filter and make sure I got my best angle. But of course I took a creepy “I see you over there famous person and I’m going to try and secretly take a stealth bad angled blurry photo to text to all my friends” photo.

My Arnie encounter became one of my most liked Facebook posts. Posted here in a loving tribute and memory to a future non-existent Facebook, as it feels like it’s kinda dying…

Casually minding my own business at the gym this morning when Arnold Schwarzenegger comes over to ask who taught me how to use the weight equipment (immediate thoughts – oh shit, have I been doing it all wrong?!)
Once he heard my accent, asks if I’d come to LA to find a husband… Cue awkward laugh and response “ha, I wish…”
“You probably think I’m old?!” Cue another awkward laugh…
Spent the next hour getting a personal training session and workout tips from him and his friend as they worked out alongside me. #LA

So thank you Arnie, for creeping me out, but also fixing my leg press form.  I really appreciated it, truly.

Love Always, Elise

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